God Tesco's smoked mackerel pate with a toasted Feelgood Doctor bagel, garlic mayo, organic red onions and rocket is a culinary soothsayer just in time for the blood bombs to start falling from the pubic sky. Nice, eh? I have no class as you'll know by now from virtually all my blogs! The most annoying thing about being hormonal conjoined with shopping online is that there's no chance whatsoever for control or horse sense.
I was on a deadline earlier (interesting article, wow, from one of the first female Gardai working the streets of Dublin in the early 1960s and details of a telephone box racket with priests and prostitutes... more on this another time)... when the shopping arrived. I kinda winced at the door and thought, 'hmmm, a lot of bags?' as it's only me this weekend and the Wet Witch of course (still haven't heard what time she's arriving, if she's reading this will ye buzz me later before I get onto the wine?).
I dragged the bags in and only half unloaded as I had to send the article off at a certain time, etc. Just been downstairs and there's all kinds of bollix from chocolate nuts to cheesy frozen pies, all the stuff I am trying desperately hard to steer clear from to try to lose weight. But calories rule over sweet rationale and I know better not to argue with myself during these precious few days every month.
It's at this time that I usually send derisive emails to global spammers in reply to their litany of Viagra and other shite mails. It especially bugs me when they try to fool you by putting in a paragraph of a shite short story first in the hope that you might be stupid enough to read it before you get to the erection medication and give them a ring. I write back sick shit like: "I hope Saddam's last surviving relatives burn the fuck out of your family farm in Minnesota" and so on. The latest one is yet another gobshite trying to convince only the abjectly retarded and criminally insane that it's possible to earn £14K a week from home by only working two hours a day. I wrote back to them yesterday, hold on and I'll cut & paste it:
----- Original Message -----
From: "d burch"
Sent: Thursday, May 10, 2007 7:11 PM
Subject: Re: *** SPAM *** Contact from Earn Cash At Home Website
> Sorry, but as you looking at internet scams we feel that we could not be of
> any help to you as we have no experience of such things. Thanks anyway.
> ----- Original Message -----
> From:
> To:
> Sent: Thursday, May 10, 2007 6:25 PM
> Subject: *** SPAM *** Contact from Earn Cash At Home Website
>> Hi there,
>>
>> I'm a journalist doing an article on internet work scams and I'm wondering
>> would it be possible to interview you about your totally outlandish claims of
>> earning £14K + per week.
>>
>> Please feel free to contact me in return.
>> Best Wishes,
>> J
Of course, I am not writing an article, but as he's not really offering a viable work opportunity either I have zero guilt or moral amenability about making him jump. And if he tries to sue me for pasting his email, I'll saw his grandmother's head off, providing of course that she's still alive. I'd never ever harm the dead. If anyone has any cultural crusades or contract killings they want carried out, contact me at this time every month, counting between 21 and 24 days' gap from today. No project is too taxing and I offer my services for free with a bonus bag of green lentils thrown in for dog owners and very old people.
Onto a more austere note: did you catch a glimpse of the Saddam's Tribe Docu-drama charting the downfall of Saddam Hussein on C.4. last night? It was written up from interviews with his daughter Raghad who was allegedly his favourite although not so 'favourite' as to not fall prey to his pathological unwholesome need to fuck up human life. He had her hubby killed and his other daughters' too, in between gassing millions, torturing, murdering and so on. The list of grossness is too long and so over-simulated these days that we're almost immune.
Yet still, his abused daughter commented on the day of his capture: "If age is measured by anguish and sadness, I would have been 80 today. But despite this, my confidence hasn't wavered for a single day in God the almighty..". She took over his legal defence on his behalf and saw it through till the final stages, incredible in a way. Yet, what's astounding is that no matter how much grotesque detail came to light after his downfall, still the granola-eating liberals with their soya-milk swindling concern for all human life once it fits their agenda, roared and shouted about the way this lunatic was treated in jail.
The Irish left in particular are even more nauseous as they're nearly all (better not name that East London liberal intellectual rag)-reading postgrads from far-flung places like Sandycove & Dundrum. You know, those places that have been through so much on the planet. Oh I could go on, but I won't. They did the same when Madonna adopted the baby from Malawi. I laughed my hole off at all the: 'this is abuse of human rights' invective. As I said to lover over a lovely Italian meal in Edinburgh last October: "which would they fucking prefer that Madonna's new kid is chased by paparazzi or flies & cataracts.... what a choice?" And up they piped again when it came to Saddam being hanged. Yeah, he was humiliated; strictly speaking this of course, should not happen, by civilised standards and rules of war, etc. But I have to say, it didn't even stir one emotion in me.
The only thing I felt was surprise that he actually took it all quite calmly, even at the end, not like those Nazis who were hung after Nuremberg... they squealed for their Helga mothers & tried to barter with God. The lefty blockheads have been at it again in recent days following the horrific abduction in Portugal of poor little Madeleine McCann... they used it as a platform to rant about prisoners' rights and why paedophiles should be properly rehabilitated and what about parents who leave their kids, etc., so obscenely insensitive and totally veering away from the issue.
Last night's drama 'from the inside' showing just how injurious and psychotic Saddam was with his own family members, never mind his 'distant' country men and women, was a necessitous reminder of the facts. This barbaric lunatic did not deserve any pity never mind intervention from human rights organisations when justice arrived. He was an insane fucker that may not have been out of place in Babylonian times but in the modern world, his crimes were based on the sickest brutality at home and unbelievable slaughter abroad.
If marshmallow-soft lefties just took a little break from their avocado salads to imagine for one moment their precious daughters, not sitting safely in the confines of the local multi-denominational school on one of Dublin's Dart lines, but lying on a roadside seeping yellow puss after a chemical bomb the likes of which was dropped indiscriminately in Halabja in Northern Iraq in 1988... and maybe a scabby starving dog eating her eyeballs, it might be one small step towards awakening.
I was on a deadline earlier (interesting article, wow, from one of the first female Gardai working the streets of Dublin in the early 1960s and details of a telephone box racket with priests and prostitutes... more on this another time)... when the shopping arrived. I kinda winced at the door and thought, 'hmmm, a lot of bags?' as it's only me this weekend and the Wet Witch of course (still haven't heard what time she's arriving, if she's reading this will ye buzz me later before I get onto the wine?).
I dragged the bags in and only half unloaded as I had to send the article off at a certain time, etc. Just been downstairs and there's all kinds of bollix from chocolate nuts to cheesy frozen pies, all the stuff I am trying desperately hard to steer clear from to try to lose weight. But calories rule over sweet rationale and I know better not to argue with myself during these precious few days every month.
It's at this time that I usually send derisive emails to global spammers in reply to their litany of Viagra and other shite mails. It especially bugs me when they try to fool you by putting in a paragraph of a shite short story first in the hope that you might be stupid enough to read it before you get to the erection medication and give them a ring. I write back sick shit like: "I hope Saddam's last surviving relatives burn the fuck out of your family farm in Minnesota" and so on. The latest one is yet another gobshite trying to convince only the abjectly retarded and criminally insane that it's possible to earn £14K a week from home by only working two hours a day. I wrote back to them yesterday, hold on and I'll cut & paste it:
----- Original Message -----
From: "d burch"
Sent: Thursday, May 10, 2007 7:11 PM
Subject: Re: *** SPAM *** Contact from Earn Cash At Home Website
> Sorry, but as you looking at internet scams we feel that we could not be of
> any help to you as we have no experience of such things. Thanks anyway.
> ----- Original Message -----
> From:
> To:
> Sent: Thursday, May 10, 2007 6:25 PM
> Subject: *** SPAM *** Contact from Earn Cash At Home Website
>> Hi there,
>>
>> I'm a journalist doing an article on internet work scams and I'm wondering
>> would it be possible to interview you about your totally outlandish claims of
>> earning £14K + per week.
>>
>> Please feel free to contact me in return.
>> Best Wishes,
>> J
Of course, I am not writing an article, but as he's not really offering a viable work opportunity either I have zero guilt or moral amenability about making him jump. And if he tries to sue me for pasting his email, I'll saw his grandmother's head off, providing of course that she's still alive. I'd never ever harm the dead. If anyone has any cultural crusades or contract killings they want carried out, contact me at this time every month, counting between 21 and 24 days' gap from today. No project is too taxing and I offer my services for free with a bonus bag of green lentils thrown in for dog owners and very old people.
Onto a more austere note: did you catch a glimpse of the Saddam's Tribe Docu-drama charting the downfall of Saddam Hussein on C.4. last night? It was written up from interviews with his daughter Raghad who was allegedly his favourite although not so 'favourite' as to not fall prey to his pathological unwholesome need to fuck up human life. He had her hubby killed and his other daughters' too, in between gassing millions, torturing, murdering and so on. The list of grossness is too long and so over-simulated these days that we're almost immune.
Yet still, his abused daughter commented on the day of his capture: "If age is measured by anguish and sadness, I would have been 80 today. But despite this, my confidence hasn't wavered for a single day in God the almighty..". She took over his legal defence on his behalf and saw it through till the final stages, incredible in a way. Yet, what's astounding is that no matter how much grotesque detail came to light after his downfall, still the granola-eating liberals with their soya-milk swindling concern for all human life once it fits their agenda, roared and shouted about the way this lunatic was treated in jail.
The Irish left in particular are even more nauseous as they're nearly all (better not name that East London liberal intellectual rag)-reading postgrads from far-flung places like Sandycove & Dundrum. You know, those places that have been through so much on the planet. Oh I could go on, but I won't. They did the same when Madonna adopted the baby from Malawi. I laughed my hole off at all the: 'this is abuse of human rights' invective. As I said to lover over a lovely Italian meal in Edinburgh last October: "which would they fucking prefer that Madonna's new kid is chased by paparazzi or flies & cataracts.... what a choice?" And up they piped again when it came to Saddam being hanged. Yeah, he was humiliated; strictly speaking this of course, should not happen, by civilised standards and rules of war, etc. But I have to say, it didn't even stir one emotion in me.
The only thing I felt was surprise that he actually took it all quite calmly, even at the end, not like those Nazis who were hung after Nuremberg... they squealed for their Helga mothers & tried to barter with God. The lefty blockheads have been at it again in recent days following the horrific abduction in Portugal of poor little Madeleine McCann... they used it as a platform to rant about prisoners' rights and why paedophiles should be properly rehabilitated and what about parents who leave their kids, etc., so obscenely insensitive and totally veering away from the issue.
Last night's drama 'from the inside' showing just how injurious and psychotic Saddam was with his own family members, never mind his 'distant' country men and women, was a necessitous reminder of the facts. This barbaric lunatic did not deserve any pity never mind intervention from human rights organisations when justice arrived. He was an insane fucker that may not have been out of place in Babylonian times but in the modern world, his crimes were based on the sickest brutality at home and unbelievable slaughter abroad.
If marshmallow-soft lefties just took a little break from their avocado salads to imagine for one moment their precious daughters, not sitting safely in the confines of the local multi-denominational school on one of Dublin's Dart lines, but lying on a roadside seeping yellow puss after a chemical bomb the likes of which was dropped indiscriminately in Halabja in Northern Iraq in 1988... and maybe a scabby starving dog eating her eyeballs, it might be one small step towards awakening.
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